What do we actually need?

Here’s what I have realized I tend to do. I tend to ignore what my inner self, my best partner in any venture or adventure, is trying to tell me (And that fear, pain, or discomfort? That’s your inner self giving you data). I tend to want to push through whatever fear, discomfort, or pain I have in order to get through to the other side.

Here’s the trouble with that. Often, that discomfort, that pain, that fear-they’re trying to tell me something. I don’t have to be deterred by what they’re trying to tell me, but I do need to listen, Because that information will inform my highest good. It won’t necessarily be open and shut. I’ll need to investigate and interpret the data in order to really know what’s going on, but it will be useful.

I’ve especially noticed this when I’m having an argument with my husband. I spend a fair amount of time defending my position instead of listening to what’s going on around me. I don’t listen as much to what he’s really saying (as opposed to just his words). I don’t listen to what I’m really needing out of the interaction. If I spent even a few seconds in quiet repose, breathing, listening, I have a feeling I would get a lot of information that I need. And that information would help me make progress and get back to peace and joy. 

So, the next time you are in a high stress situation, an argument, stuck in traffic, take a few seconds and ask yourself what you really need right then. And don’t listen to just the first answer. For example, in traffic, the first answer will likely be, “I need these morons to get a move on.” That’s just the top layer. What’s below that? Are you running late? Are you worried about finishing something at work? Are you nervous about getting home in time to make sure you can get dinner on the table? What’s really going on here? I get the feeling that if we stop and really think about it and listen, we will realize that it’s not the “morons” on the road.